I’m going to talk about friendship. Real, true, friendship. You might think the people you see everyday in class, go to lunch with, or text constantly are your best friends. That might very well be true, but who are they? What do they know about you? How do they make you feel? Do you tell them your deepest, darkest secrets? Or are you afraid of how they might react?
That Don’t Impress Me Much
If you are trying to impress your friends, then they are not friends. If you are trying to monitor your behaviour or change who you are because you don’t know how your friends will react, they’re not your real friends.
Friendship is something that’s based on respect and support. If you don’t respect someone, you can’t trust them or befriend them. Of course, there are things that you will not want to associate with your friends, like if they are doing something illegal or morally wrong. That’s okay, but the important thing is that you feel comfortable voicing your concerns.
As we grow up, our friendship dynamics change. Chances are, you don’t see your friend everyday in class, or you don’t live around the corner from each other anymore. Maybe they’ve emigrated. Maybe they live on the opposite side of the world in a timezone that makes it nighttime when you’re waking up. Maybe you don’t talk all day, every day.
Think about how it feels when you see your friend after a long time. Is it awkward? Do you feel like you need to make small talk because you don’t know what to say any more?
Does your friend only talk about themselves? Do you struggle to tell them how you feel? Do they care how you feel? These are hugely important things, and they are the things that will make or break your friendship. Friendship is a two-way street, it involves give and take – be supported and supporting someone.
I’ll Be There For You
Friends come and go, but the friends that you keep are those who support you, whom you feel comfortable around and who you can rely on when times are tough. If you’re feeling down and depressed, or have been through a breakup, who do you turn to? Those who you know you can turn to are those who are your closest friends. They do not judge, they support you and they are there for you no matter what.
This is what true friendship is. It’s not how many photos you’re tagged in together on social media. It’s not how many texts are in your WhatsApp chat. It’s not how many hours you spend chatting over tea and lunch. It’s how you feel when you’re in a crisis and just need a shoulder to cry on. That’s how you know.