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0 In Relationships/ Sex & Love

The Dos And Don’ts of Being In Your First Relationship

The Dos And Don'ts of Having Your First Relationship

Being in your first relationship is a huge milestone in life. Don’t worry, everyone reaches it at a different point. But it can be a lot; here’s some tips to try help you keep a level head.

Don’t Drop Your Friends

You swear that you won’t be “that girl”, but it happens easier than you would think. And hey, we get it. You’ve found someone who you really like and you want to spend all of your free time with them, but don’t forget about your friends. Boyfriends/girlfriends come and go, but you always need your friends. Make sure that you make time for your friends regularly and for the love of God don’t spend all of your time with them obsessing over your BF/GF.

Do Tell Your Parents

Yes, there is a certain level of mortification talking about your love life with your parental unit (is this an Irish thing?), but you need to be up-front and tell them. Yes, they might embarrass the hell out of you, but it’s important that they know about this big change in your life. By keeping it a secret they’ll worry and won’t be impressed. Also, nothing worse than been spotted with you new love someone by who’s going to rat you out and in Ireland this will always happen!

Don’t Splash It All Over Social Media

It’s tempting to want to tell everyone about your new lurve, but do a Beyoncé on it and keep it private. Although we all hope that we’ve found “the one” on the first try, the reality is that maybe you haven’t. And that’s ok. But if it doesn’t work out there’s nothing worse than having to change your Facebook status and remove all mention of them from your social media. Maybe putting up the date of your anniversary 2 days in isn’t a great ideas either?!

Do Ee Yourself

Through nerves and anxiety it’s easy to turn yourself into someone else just by constantly saying yes and not wanting to disagree on anything, but don’t change your likes and dislikes for anyone. Don’t be afraid to say that you don’t really want to go to the cinema to see that movie or that you really like that band. Be yourself. They obviously liked you to begin with for who you are, so don’t go changin’.

Don’t Feel Pressured

Being in your first relationship is exciting and a big deal, but don’t feel that you ever have to do something that you don’t want to do at any point in the relationship. Sex is a big deal and it’s way too early to even be considering it at the very start of your first relationship. So, if it’s on your new partners mind, but you’re not ready, you have every right to say no. And if pressure starts to be applied, it’s time to make them an ex.

Have you any tips you wish you could tell you younger-self about being in your first relationship?

Read More: 5 Ways To Get Over A Break Up

0 In Sex & Love

The Problem With Sex Ed In Irish Schools

The Problem With Sex Ed In Irish SchoolsThere is an age-old saying that runs through the blood of the Irish that goes like “SEX IS BAD”.

It has been bestowed upon us by the catholic church who has us believe that sex is shameful and against the will of god. For girls, that if you became pregnant without marriage you had basically spit in the will of God and therefore should be shunned away. For gays, you were made out to not actually exist. And still to this day even when we have come forward so much, there is still a huge problem in the way we talk about sex and how sex ed in Irish schools is taught.

SEX ED FOR DUMMIES.

I remember the day that we all rejoiced at the sound that we would have the talk in school because it basically just meant a day off for us. I remember the lady who walked in, old, a tight bun in her head and a sharp suit on. She looked at us dead in the eye and proclaimed to us that if we ever had sex we would rot in hell.

Okay, she didn’t actually say that, but the undertone was there. We started to discuss the changes to our bodies, the vital part of growing up. Then the sex. The way it was explained was that a man and a woman who were in love and married would do the when they finally wanted to have a baby. And that was it. 

So, the problems with sex ed in Irish schools… 

1.We were only allowed have sex in this one circumstance for this one reason. 

This is an age-old way of thinking and should be done away with. It only reinforces the idea of not being able to have sex for just, I don’t know… Pleasure? Children become sceptical of the whole idea of it and don’t learn of the different reasons and possibilities of why one would have sex.

2. If you are gay, you will learn nothing. 

For anyone going through a time where they aren’t sure about themselves and their sexuality, “The talk” in school is not going to help you one little bit. Basically, if you think or know you are gay, there will be no information for you on how sex works with a man and a man or vice versa with a woman and a woman. We are only taught about relations between a man and a woman with no mention of how it works any other way and how to protect yourself from STIs.

3. There is no consent talk. 

Consent is not complicated. Everyone acts like it is something very strange and difficult to understand but it is a very straightforward concept. But it does need to be clarified, especially to young people who have only scratched the surface of the sexual world. However consent is not mentioned thoroughly in “the talk” where the basis of consensual sex lines should be set. 

4. Boys and girls are separated. 

There comes a time in every sex talk where the boys must leave the room because the girls will be talking about, heaven forbid, periods. Periods are a natural part of the life cycle something that should be taught to boys just as much as girls. Boys should not need to shy away from the idea of periods anymore, it is how they are made after all. Girls also have to leave the party when the talk goes to a specifically boys section. But most girls are going to need to know this information too at some point, so why the separation? 

The Problem With Sex Ed In Irish Schools

In real talk; we need to update how to teach young people about sex, and make it a positive experience rather than one you go home from with even more question than which you started.

One of the biggest issues with Sex Ed in Irish schools is that it’s usually done during the tail-end of Primary Schools – 11-year-olds are not sexually active. It’s when you hit your teens and start having those feelings and begin first relationships that you need more information. Most of us know the basics about the mechanics of sex, but lack awareness on contraception, diseases and the emotional side.

Although the Irish Government kept saying that they’re going to roll-out a more robust Sex Education plan, we’re not exactly holding our breaths on this one and there are a lot of you who probably need that info ASAP. So, the only thing to do is to self-educate.

Everything That You Need To Know About Contraception

0 In Relationships/ Sex & Love

What To Know Before Dating A Girl Who’s Close With Her Mam

FYI: you *might* just want to leave this article open so that the boy casually sees it…

Guilty as charged, my mam is definitely one of my best friends, and I’m sure I’m not the only unjust call us the Gilmore Girls! So, here is a little heads up if you are about to get serious with a girl who is very close with her mam. 

 

Things have to be planned in advance, because they will have to check with mam. 

Even at the older ages, we girls who love our mammies, always check with them when we go out. It’s not even permission anymore, it’s just a letting them know type thing. It makes us feel better when our mams know what we are doing. 

Decisions will be made with advice from mam. 

Mother knows best. That is the golden rule. It isn’t an insult to you, but if you suggest something we will probably need to consult with our mams before we give the final decision. 

Our mams know everything about you. 

Fair warning, we talk to our mams about everything. Small and large everything is discussed with mam. All boy interests included. They are just the best listeners. So, if you end up meeting our mams, chances are they already know everything about you and what you are going to say. 

Being friendly with your mam matters to us. 

It’s not a deal breaker, but the way to treat your mam matters to us. It influences our decision on what we think of you. We love a mammy’s boy. So having a good relationship with your mam is actually seriously attractive to us. 

Their mams, are basically the over protective dads. 

They will scrutinize you, hard. They will make sure that you are a good match for us. After all no one knows us better than our mams. So, be prepared for some over protective dad stuff, but from our mams. 

Have you any advice for dating a girl who’s close with her Mam?

0 In Relationships/ Sex & Love

We Need To Stop “Shipping” Toxic Relationships

We Need To Stop "Shipping" Toxic Relationships

Have you ever realised just how often we’re forced to normalise Toxic Relationships onscreen? I didn’t -until recently that is. And once I started to think about it, it really annoyed me.

We recently chatted about the ways that TV Shows Distorted Our Expectations Of Secondary School and and it got me thinking about how some TV shows and movies are just so problematic in their portrayal of relationships. The more I thought about it the more I realised that toxic relationships are often idealised on screens. And worse, we’re actually manipulated into rooting for the couple – or “shipping” them – as is the term these days.

Here are some of the fictional relationships that we really should have dumped…

We Need To Stop "Shipping" Toxic Relationships

Run, Bella, run!

Twilight

I know that 10 years on Twilight isn’t that big of a deal anymore, but trust me when I say it was HUGE at the time. This is definitely another example of a movie you would have been obsessed with in the 00’s. But I’m sure you’ve probably seen the movies at some point in your existence. Twilight was the original movie that kicked off all this “shipping” and you were either Team Edward or Team Jacob.

The problem is there really shouldn’t have been a Team Edward at all. Edward spends most of his time trying to influence and control Bella. Whereas Jacob is happy to let her be as she is. And guess who she choses in the end? There’s also the huge metaphor in Twilight in that Bella had to change (become an undead vampire, no less!) in order to be with Edward. You should never have to change who you are to be with someone.

One of the major plot lines in the series was Edward trying to stop Bella from seeing her best friend because he was “worried about her”. That’s not protective, it’s possessive.  There’s a huge difference between “text me when you’re home safe” or “do you want me to collect you?” to being followed to events that you are not invited to (girls nights) or throwing a fit about your significant other doing something without you. Women should be allowed go, do, say what they want.

We Need To Stop "Shipping" Toxic Relationships

“You’re not a bad boy, you’re just a bad person”.

Gossip Girl

I should have been working on commission for Gossip Girl because I got so many of my friends watching it. I even wrote about it for Missy! But I recently watched it again and it honestly really disturbed me.

The Problem With Chuck Bass

Chuck was supposed to be the boy bad who we grew to love. But a quick watch of the very first episode of Gossip Girl and you see just how problematic Chuck is.

In the space of one episode he proclaims that Nate is entitled to “tap that ass” when talking about Blair. No one is ever entitled to sex. Ever. And when referring to Serena he says that “there’s something wrong with that level of perfection, it needs to be violated”. The language used by Chuck, and by extension the writers, is appalling and perpetuates rape culture. Lest we not forget that Chuck tried to force himself on Serena and then delivers the line, “your life is over slut”. And oh yeah, he rounds off the pilot by trying to rape a 14-year old Jenny Humphrey. Someone reading this who has never seen Gossip Girl is probably wondering what they hell is this show? We kid you not. These were actually major plotlines in the series.

Originally Chuck wasn’t supposed to be a main character, but after his off-the-chart chemistry with Leighton Meester the writers decided to throw them together to become Chair. Chuck and Blair should have their own place in the Toxic Relationships Hall of Fame.

A Bad Romance

The thing is, Chuck treated Blair so awfully, but she just kept coming back for more and even married him. And the writers tied-up their toxic relationship into some epic love story. It was messed up. Anytime she tried to express how she felt (in true Blair Waldorf take-down form!) Chuck responded by being even worse instead of listening to her. He then traded her for a hotel, like she was his possession and got angry when she had the cheek to be upset about it.

Now, I know TV series have to create drama and that couples just can’t have a nice happy time (why oh why?) but Chuck and Blairs toxic relationship was not a healthy one. It’s worrying to think that girls may experience this in real life relationships and think its normal. It’s not. Gossip Girl sends out an awful message to viewers.

 

Toxic Relationships Shouldn’t Be Shipped

Being fed these toxic relationships makes it harder for viewers to recognise troubling behaviour in their own relationships. The message sent out is that if you put up with this type of behaviour you will be rewarded with a happily ever after in the end. In reality that doesn’t happen and toxic relationships can be dangerous and damaging.

We get that drama is needed in tv shows and movies, but it shouldn’t be in the form of emotional abuse towards women. Toxic Relationships should never be rationalised or normalised. Even Friends is problematic when it comes to how it portrays relationships. Need convincing? Sit back and read this thread on Twitter.

 

Are we over thinking this or do you think that movies and TV shows glamorize toxic relationships? Let us know in the comments below.

0 In Sex & Love/ Wellness

Everything That You Need To Know About Contraception

Illustration by Carra Sykes

Contraception as a teen can be a bit of a minefield. Maybe you’re not too knowledgeable? Or you might feel weird about asking someone? Maybe you think you know, but you’re not too sure? Contraception really isn’t the sort of thing that you should be messing around with because, not to be too dramatic or anything, it can have life changing consequences. Which is why we at missy.ie think that you should be fully informed about all of the options available to you.

The important thing to remember is that you need to use safe and effective contraception every single time. You don’t build up a credit system that allows you a once off, get out of jail free card. It only takes one time to become pregnant or infected with a sexually transmitted disease. If your partner doesn’t respect you enough to use contraception or tries to make reasons or excuses for not using it, you need to stand up for yourself. Having sex without using protection isn’t smart, cool or safe.

Here is everything that you need to know about contraception…

Condoms

The condom is a barrier method of contraception – it blocks sperm from entering the womb. Condoms are made from very thin latex rubber or a very thin plastic. They are widely available in Pharmacies and Supermarkets. Family Planning clinics and college services often offer them for free. Using a condom should realistically be non-negotiable with your partner when you first become sexually active.

Condoms protect against most sexually transmitted infections, when used correctly that is. Even if you are using another form of contraception, like the Pill, condoms are recommended when you have sex with a new partner, have multiple sexual partners or are unsure of your partner’s sexual history. You need to be careful and ensure that they are properly used and be aware that they can fail by tearing or coming off during sex. Out of date condoms should never be used. If used correctly, condoms are 98% effective in preventing pregnancy.

Read: Here’s a very informative guide on how to properly put on a condom.

 

Implant

The contraceptive implant (or The Bar) is a small flexible plastic rod which is placed under your skin (usually your arm). It slowly releases the progesterone hormone and gives contraceptive protection for up to 3 years. It can be removed at any time. The implant is more than 99% effective. It’s a good idea if you want long-term contraception and if you want to avoid having to remember to take the Pill every day. Again it does not protect against sexually transmitted infections. 

You can get the Implant from a doctor, Family Planning Clinic or Well Woman Clinic. Your doctor will write a prescription for the implant and you then bring this to a Pharmacy where you can buy the implant. The device is then inserted by a doctor; although not all doctors will insert devices they can refer you to someone who does. The implant is available for  Medical Card patients.

via GIPHY

The Pill

We already chatted about the Pill before in much more detail. The Pill is a small tablet that you take daily for 21 days. You then take a 7 day “break” which will result in your period. Then you begin another packet for 21 days. The Pill is an effective birth control method only if it is taken correctly. Make sure you follow the packet instructions very carefully because if you miss a pill you may not be fully protected and you could get pregnant. You also need to be careful about taking antibiotics, because they can affect the Pills performance. Also, if you throw up for any reason your Pill may not work. So, you need to be super vigilant when taking it. The Pill does not protect against sexually transmitted infections, so we would recommend that you use condoms as well.

 

Mirena Coil (IUD)

The coil is a T-shaped plastic IUS device that is professionally inserted into endometrial cavity of the uterus. Mirena coils provide long-term birth control that is minimally invasive and very effective. They can also be used to treat a variety of conditions, including heavy periods, endometriosis, chronic pelvic pain and anaemia. It is a reliable long-term option, if you would prefer not to think about birth control on a daily basis. An IUD can be removed at any time, and your fertility will return to normal immediately.

It is an option if you cannot or do not want to use hormones. IUDs do not protect against sexually transmitted infections. You can get a prescription for an IUD from your doctor, Family Planning Clinic or Well Woman Clinic. Your doctor will write a prescription for the implant and you then bring this to a Pharmacy where you can buy the implant. The device is then inserted by a doctor; although not all doctors will insert devices they can refer you to someone who does. The implant is available for  Medical Card patients.

 

Emergency Contraception

Emergency contraception is a method of contraception that can prevent pregnancy after unprotected sex or if your contraception has failed i.e if the condom broke or you realise that you have forgotten to take your Pill.

The 3 day emergency contraceptive pill should be taken as soon as possible and within 72 hours (3 days) of unprotected sex. It is more effective the sooner it is taken. There is also a 5 day Pill, but again the sooner you take it the better.

Emergency contraception is available from pharmacies without a prescription or from a doctor. If you go into your pharmacy just ask to speak to the Pharmacist privately. Most Pharmacies have a private consultation room now, so you can chat with them about your options in full confidence. They should be able to provide you with Emergency Contraception in the form of a tablet on the spot.

Emergency contraception is not as effective as regular contraception and should not be consciously used as an alternative to other contraception.

 

Other Options

There are other contraceptive options out there, such as the diaphragm, contraceptive patch, vaginal ring, contraceptive injection and spermicide but we thought it would be best to chat through the options that you would be most likely to use. But do be aware that they are there. If you’re not sure which option is best for you have a chat with your GP, or head to your local Well Women Centre or Family Planning Clinic.

Always Remember…

  • It is your right not to engage in sexual activity.
  • It is your right to protect yourself from pregnancy and disease.
0 In Debs/ Relationships

How To Pick A Debs Date: From Going Solo To Group Dates

Debs season can often cause a bit of panic when asked the question “so… who are you taking to the debs?” Our advice is first and foremost not to panic. We here at Missy have all the options you can take as your date for the night!

Go With… Your Boyfriend/Girlfriend

If you have a significant other it’s probably best to ask them to the debs as your first option. Hurt feelings will only cause unnecessary drama. While your friends might want you to go with them, go with what you want and ask your significant other if you want to. It’s your night too, you shouldn’t have to sacrifice who you’d like to go with.

Go With… A Group Of Friends

How To Pick A Debs Date: From Going Solo To Group Dates

Don’t fret if you’re a single gal, the debs isn’t all about finding one person to go with. If you and a group of friends don’t want to bother with asking someone to the debs, go with one another! What sounds better than partying the night away with your besties?? If a group hang doesn’t pan out and you still need a date, why not ask one of your friends from another school to go?

Go With… Yourself

How To Pick A Debs Date: From Going Solo To Group Dates

Don’t be afraid to assert your independence and head to the debs solo. It’s 2018 after all, and why it may seem daunting going by yourself means you don’t have to worry about anyone else. You also save a few bob by not having to pay for your date’s ticket!

Go With… The Person You Like

How To Pick A Debs Date: From Going Solo To Group Dates

Your debs is probably the last time you’re going to be with your class. That means it may also be your last opportunity to bite the bullet and ask the person you’ve had a crush on since 1st year! Honesty is the best policy when it comes to asking someone out, so be open, clearly communicate what you’re looking for, and make lots of eye contact.

Go With… A Blind Date

How To Pick A Debs Date: From Going Solo To Group Dates

If you’re feeling a little adventurous ask a friend if they know anyone who might be a suitable debs date. Don’t go into it completely blind and maybe arrange to meet them a week or so in advance, just to ensure you’ll get on.

Does the idea of trying to find a debs date make you panic? Let us know in the comments below!

Find out more about our FREE Debs Guide now!

0 In Friendship/ Girl Talk/ Lifestyle/ Relationships/ Wellness

5 Questions That Will Change Your Life

5 Questions That Will Change Your Life

If you think a Insta Model body or a BF is your one-way ticket to internal happiness, it’s time to get some serious perspective. Answer these questions honestly and they might just change your life!

 

1. Will Being Thin Really Make Me Happy?

If you’re frantically nodding your head right now, you could be in trouble. It’s easy to think your life would be perfect if only you were taller/shorter, blonder, more tan…but the reality is that looking “good” is no guarantee that you’ll feel confident. Spoiler: “beautiful” people have problems too.

Happiness comes from within and beauty really is only skin deep. Think about it. Do you seriously think that celebrities and Insta Models don’t have problems? Just one look at their Twitter mentions will prove that it’s not all plain sailing for them either. You wouldn’t think it to look at her, but Lily Reinhart has admitted that she suffers a lot from anxiety, depression and is very insecure about her skin. You never know what is going on inside someone else’s head, no matter what they may look like on the outside.

Is theres’ something about your body that you’d like to change, ask yourself “why“? Everyone has bits that they don’t like, but instead of stressing about them why not draw up a list of things that you do like about yourself and probably take for granted? Read over it whenever you feel down. And don’t forget that real girls aren’t perfect and perfect girls aren’t real. You’re unique and that’s what makes you pretty damn special.

 

2. Is Having A Boyfriend Really Important?

When you’re single, it can feel like everyone in the world is coupled-up (seriously, what is it with all these super quick celeb engagements?) while you’re left as the Bridget Jones of your gang. But if you think that you need to be in a relationship to be truly happy, you could be suffering from low self-esteem, especially if you’re willing to date some randomer who you’re not that into.

When you’re single you can spend as much time with your friends as you like, get to keep every weekend open for spontaneous adventures and you can say you’re an Independent Woman. When you really think about it, are you really desperate to lose all of those things? It’s normal to want to be in a secure and loving relationship, but being one of those girls who simply can’t fly solo means you’ll never feel whole unless you’re someone else’s other half. And that’s just not healthy, or much fun. When you find someone who you are truly meant to be with, you’ll know. But there’s no point in forcing a relationship just for the sake of it. And it’s an even worse idea to think that having a boyfriend will solve all of your problems, it might just create them.

Now, all the single ladies, put your hands up!

 

3. Am I A Good Friend?

Who do you rely on? Think about them right now and ask yourself can they say the same about you? Are you guilty of not being there for your friends when they need you, even-though they provide a first-rate counselling service to you? If you’re the type of person who drops friends like hot potatoes once someone else comes along, you really need to start evaluating how you treat people. Everyone needs friends and as you go through life you’ll find that you rely more and more on a core group of friends. But friendship is a two-way street and they need the effort. And in order to be deserving of good friends, you need to be a great friend in return.

If you’ve just realised that you haven’t been the best friends lately there’s no need to get down about it. Instead, get everyone around foe Netflix and chill night and make sure that they know how much they all mean to you.

 

4. Am I A Nightmare To Live With?

You probably don’t give your home life a second thought, but maybe it’s time that you do. When you’re a child, your parents are obliged to care for you and they don’t really expect any thanks for it, but now that you’re well on your way to adulthood it’s time to re-evaluate your living situation. Does your mum still make all your meals? Does she still wash your clothes and change your sheets too? Instead of talking all that hotel-style help for granted, why not give back every once in a while?

It could be something as simple as offering to vacuum the living room or washing up after the Sunday lunch, neither of which will take yo too much time or effort.

Think about how your parents and siblings view you. We all get a bit short-tempered at time, but if you’re constantly starting arguments and throwing diva fits over the slightest thing, it might be time to re-evaluate your attitude. Make an effort to be kinder and more patient with your ‘rents. Ever get scolded for having “a tone“? Maybe try improve on that. Because even if your family drives you spare at times, they still love you endlessly and are only trying to do their best. So, check the attitude at the front door and help out a bit more. Say thank you to your parents and appreciate them a bit more.

 

5. Am I Reaching My Full Potential?

Think of how frustrating it must be for your teachers and parents if they see you coast along without really, whole-heartedly trying. It’s not that they’re “always on your case”. They care about you and want to see you do well and reach your full-potential.

If you ever scraped a C after not studying for a test, imagine what you cod achieve with a bit more effort?

Instead of shrugging it off, the next time someone tells you to believe you can do something, LISTEN UP for a change. Whether it’s in school, sport or with your family and friends – you have the potential to be the best, if only you’d trust yourself. Don’t let that voice inside you that tells you that you can’t do something. Or that you’re too tired. Or you’ve done the bare minimum – it’s grand, take over. Aim for the stars – and the sky’s the limit.

0 In Relationships/ Sex & Love

5 Ways To Get Over A Breakup

A breakup isn’t an easy thing to go through, whether you’re the “dumper or the dumpee.” But, it’s important to remember all things happen for a reason. While you may have been head over heels, it wasn’t meant to be, and the person for you is out there somewhere, you’ve just gotta be patient! However, there’s nothing wrong with having a little cry, it’s important to mourn, that way you’re in the best place to recover!

     1. Block Them on ALL Social Media

Seeing their name pop up in your newsfeed or seeing a selfie on your Insta feed after a breakup can be hard. We suggest hitting that block and/or unfollow button asap. They might get offended but it’s whats best for you that counts. A total detox is important in a break up. 

      2. Don’t Text Them 

After a breakup you can feel a bit lonely. You’re no longer texting 24/7, and suddenly you’re faced with watching the 3 seasons left in the show you were watching together by yourself. It’s important to realise that this is perfectly ok. It’s important to spend time with yourself and not become dependent on other people for amusement. So, no matter how much you crave their company, do not pick up the phone. Go for a walk and listen to some Dua Lipa! 

      3.Wallow 

Now we’re not talking enter a never ending state of self-pity, but it’s important to have a good wallow after a breakup. Fire on some Gilmore Girls, throw on your sweats, grab a hot water bottle, and a bucket of ice cream with some chocolate on the side, and wallow. As we said, it is important to mourn the relationship in order to move on in a healthy way. 

     4. Exercise 

Once you’ve had your wallow it’s time to focus on staying healthy. Both your mental and physical health are important to take care of after a breakup. If you’re a bit angry after the breakup, channel that anger into something productive, take up kickboxing or running. Push yourself. Your body releases endorphins when we exercise so it’s a great natural way to promote happiness. Just don’t over do it… 

     5. “Let’s be friends” 

If your ex suggests to stay friends after you breakup, and that’s something that you’re really not comfortable with, then politely say no. You shouldn’t feel obliged to stay friends just because you were once in a relationship. For most, a clean break is the best way to go, and that’s perfectly ok. What you want is important,there’s no need to please them just for the sake of it. Best to be honest from the off set! 

0 In Contraception/ Sex & Love/ Wellness

Everything You Need To Know About The Contraceptive Pill

What You Need To Know About The Contraceptive Pill

What You Need To Know About The Contraceptive Pill The Pill is one of those almost mysterious things when you’re younger. It feels very grown up in a way. And you probably have a ton of questions about it. So, here’s everything you need to know about The Contraceptive Pill.

Why You Get It

There are actually lots of different reasons why someone might be on the Pill. One of the most common reasons is usually to use it as a form of contraception. So, how does the Pill work? It stops the body from releasing an egg (also known as ovulating) which then prevents you from getting pregnant, but only if you take it correctly!

The Pill is also used to treat other problems such as Poly-Cysistic Ovarian Syndrome (PCOS) and irregular or heavy periods. It can also be used to ease period pain. Another reason why some people, particularly teens, are put on the Pill is to help with acne because it can balance out hormones. Obviously everyone is different and everyone will react differently to The Pill.

How To Get It

In order to get the Pill you will need to be given a prescription my your GP. This isn’t a big deal at all and your doctor will see girls like you everyday. It might feel a bit weird to you the first time you go in, but trust us all the stuff becomes normal.

There are a number of different Pills, so your doctor will have to assess you to pick the correct one for you. This is just a few questions about you and your families health and a blood pressure check. Sometimes people get put on the correct Pill straight away. But sometimes it might take a few different brands to find the one for you. If you or your family have a Medical Card you will be able to avail of the Pill for a subsidised cost. Normally your doctor will give you a prescription for a few months supply in one go. Just make sure that you go back for regular checkups (usually 6-12 months) with your doctor to make sure everything is ok.

What You Need To Know About The Contraceptive Pill

How To Take It

The Contraceptive Pill is quite small, think the size of a little vitamin. There are 21 pills in the pack and you take them for 21 days. After that you take a 7 day “break”. During this break you will have your period. Once those 7 days are over you start of the next pack for another 21 and on it goes.

The packet has the days of the week marked out so you can stay on track. You should always start your packet on the same day each month. When you first start taking the Pill you begin your first packet on the first day of your period. So if it’s a Thursday then Thursday will be the day that you always begin the new packet. All this will be explained to you be your doctor anyway and it will also be in the little booklet that comes with the Pill.

It’s recommended that you try to take the Pill at the same time everyday. We recommend committing to taking it either first thing in the morning or just before you go to bed. Whichever you feel would work better for you and make you less inclined to forget. Keep it beside your bed or in your purse so you don’t accidentally lose it. If you forget to take it your cycle could be thrown off and you might not be fully protected by it.

Pros of The Contraceptive Pill

  • It can prevent pregnancy. Again we need to stress the it can prevent, but only if used correctly at all times.
  • It can help with period pains
  • It can help regulate your period if you have irregular cycles. Also of you have particularly heavy periods it can help ease them.
  • It can help with acne.

Cons of The Contraceptive Pill

  • The main big con of the Pill is that it does not protect you from STIs and HIV. You must also use a barrier method, like condoms, to project yourself from STI’s.
  • The Pill is only effective if you use it correctly. You must take it every, single day. It’s also recommended that you take it at the same time everyday. If you miss a day it won’t work. Make sure you read the information booklet a million times before you start using it. And keep the booklet for reference so you know what do it if you forget to take one.
  • Antibiotics and illness can also effect the Pill. Always talk to your doctor or Pharmacist if you’re not sure.
  • If the Pill doesn’t agree with you it can possibly cause a hormone imbalance in your system. This can lead to weight gain, acne or other side effects. It’s important that you weigh up all the pros and cons that go along with the Pill and chat to your doctor.
  • The Pill can also cause a number of health side effects. Reading the booklet that comes with it will probably scare the be-jesus out of you but it’s best to know what to look out for. If you have any serious side effects or if something is worrying you go see your GP straight away.

And there you have it, everything that you need to know about the Contraceptive Pill! So let’s talk. Let us know your thoughts, feelings, concerns below in the comments!

Something you’d like us to cover on Missy? Get in touch!

0 In Consent/ Mind Yourself/ Sex & Love

Consent: We Need To Talk About What It Is And Isn’t

Consent Is Sexy

This topic has been all over Twitter, Facebook, the news, the internet, the world: consent. It’s important that we clear up any issues as to what consent is, and what consent isn’t. 

What Is Consent?

Consent is when you verbally, or physically, say ‘yes’ to a sexual act. It’s leaning in for a kiss, it’s leaning your body, it’s agreeing to engage in the act that the other person is embarking on.  

Consent is not freezing when a guy puts his hands on you or leans in for a kiss. It’s not lying there because you don’t know how to say ‘no’ but you really don’t want anything to happen. It’s not going along with it because you kissed him earlier.

If you’re walking past a guy and he slaps your bum, he’s acting without your consent. If he ‘lobs the gob’, he’s acting without your consent. Essentially, anything you don’t want to happen is you not giving consent. In the heat of the moment, there might not be a question asked, but you should be given ample chance to give your consent.

Someone using their position of power, or their strength to coerce you into acts is not consent. Sex and sexual acts should be fun, they can be passionate, strong, gentle, anything goes, so long as both parties want it. If you are drunk, you cannot give consent because you are not fully within your senses. If you are on drugs, legal or illegal, which have an affect on your cognition, you cannot give your consent.

The problem is that we can often freeze, out of fear, or shock, and because we’ve not said yes or no, our silence is taken as an invitation. It isn’t. Our inability to verbalise our consent is therefore an indication of us not giving our consent. Silence is not consent.

The thing you need to remember is that, you are not to blame for anything that happens to you that you do not consent to. If you need more information see here: www.rapecrisishelp.ie

To read more by Michelle check out her blog speckyscribbler.com or her past articles on Missy.

0 In Sex & Love

Why You Need To Read Doing It

doing it hannah witton

Have you heard of Hannah Witton? Maybe you have. Or maybe she’s gotten lost down the vortex that is YouTube, but you need to know her right now. Hannah has an amazing YouTube channel that mainly focuses on a range of youth centric issues such as relationships, friends and sex. Earlier this year she brought out a book called Doing It. Can you guess what it’s about yet?

What’s It About?

The blurb describes it as follows…

Sexting. Virginity. Consent. The Big O … Let’s face it, doing it can be tricky. I don’t know anyone (including myself) who has sex all figured out. So I’ve written a book full of honest, hilarious (and sometimes awkward) anecdotes, confessions and revelations. And because none of us have all the answers, I’ve invited some friends and fellow YouTubers to talk about their sexuality, too.

We talk about doing it safely. Doing it joyfully. Doing it when you’re ready. Not doing it. Basically, doing it the way you want, when you want. So. Let’s do this.

Sold? You should be. We at Missy think that this should be required reading. Because it’s one of the things that we worry most about when it comes to our readers. Back in our day, only a few short years ago ,we learned most of our Sex Ed from teen magazines such as KISS, Bliss and Sugar. And sadly they’re no longer on the newsstands. God knows we were not getting any info from schools. And although the internet is fricken’ deadly, there’s a lot of misinformation and down right wrong information out there. And those friends who act like they know it all when it comes to s.e.x…they don’t. Which is why we think you need to read Hannah’s book. She has the answers to all those questions that niggle in your head.

The book explores the ideas around virginity, LGBTQ+, masturbation, healthy relationships, consent, porn, body image, STIs, sex shaming, sexual pleasure, contraception and sexting. Hannah approaches each matter in a positive, informative way. There’s a mix of personal stories from Hannah and her friends,  with some words of wisdom. She provides sound advise written in a straight-forward and non-judgemental way and which really covers a lot of ground and provides genuine, important information. It’s not even the sort of book that you necessarily need to read from cover to cover. You can just leaf through it when you need a bit more information on a topic.

We’re not the only ones who think you need to be more in the know. Snapchat King James Kavanagh started a series a few months ago after being shocked by the amount of sex education questions he was receiving from his teen viewers. “I was shook at the amount of messages I received from young people who hadn’t a clue about STIs and how to avoid catching them – or indeed how you get them” he said. “Chlamydia is not the name of a posh, little girl. When I was in school, sex educaysh was DESPERATE. As it turns, from the messages I got, sex ed is still pretty dire in Ireland. The more we talk, the more safe we can all be”. That’s definitely something that we can agree on, which is why Doing It is such an important read.

Just Read Doing It!

We think you should all take a read of this book. You’re sure to learn a thing or two, we certainly did. It’s funny to read at times, but also insightful and full of information that you need to know. And if you’re thinking to yourself “OMG I’d be far to embarrassed to buy a book about sex” here’s the thing, you probably shouldn’t be Doing It yet. Also, don’t forget to check out Hannah’s YouTube Channel!

Have you read Hannah’s book?