Dear Katie: My Regret Over Past Mistakes Is Really Holding Me Back

Dear Katie
I was wondering if you have any tips or advice on how to deal with mistakes in my past. They are small mistakes, nothing major but they make me feel like I have disrespected myself and I feel like they just keep eating away at me and making me feel embarrassed, worthless and stupid all the time. Also, I feel they are holding me back as I’m currently trying to love myself for who I am, focusing on myself and trying to better myself. Every time I think of mistakes I fill with regret and an unsettling feeling. I have tried so many things, to accept that everyone makes mistakes, I’ve tried writing them out, saying them out loud so I can be at peace with myself but nothing seems to work. My personality is that I let things get to me. I have tried to be stronger and try forget about it, I’ve even looked at quotes to try help myself
From anonymous.
Dear Reader,
Thank you for getting in touch, you’re incredibly brave for sharing your story and will help so many other people by being open and honest. You’re doing everything right and you’ve overcome the hardest step, acknowledging the issue. The actions you’ve taken thus far to combat these feelings are huge and will really help you to resolve these feelings.
Although everyone experiences similar feelings of regret throughout their lives, it is especially hard to be faced with these thoughts at a time like this. Quarantine can feel lonely and make you feel very stuck in your own head but try to remember that like quarantine, you will always get through this and you won’t always feel like this.
Everything you’re doing will help you, although it may not feel like it. Even small things like writing down your worries or speaking them out loud, as you’ve been doing, are a huge step in the right direction. Try to keep your mind occupied throughout the day. Actively doing this will force you to focus on other things aside from your worries. Also, try to keep in mind that the more you let these past memories and regrets bother you, the less you’ll enjoy the present.
I would suggest, try keeping a journal and writing down when you experience these feelings, what time of the day, what you happen to be doing at the time etc, as you may establish a pattern. If you manage to find a pattern, it will be much easier to try break that pattern.
If these feelings and worries persist or begin to escalate, I would recommend confiding in a trusted adult and possibly seeking guidance and advise from a professional. We have a list of Helplines and services available to you.
No matter how strong these feelings are, always remember you’re amazing, you are loved and there’s always someone to talk to when you’re feeling down.
Love,
Katie x