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Female Masturbation 101: How To Masturbate For The First Time

Female Masturbation 101: How To Masturbate For The First Time

Alannah Murray

Masturbation has long been a taboo subject for both genders, however due to a multitude of reasons it seems to have remained more-so for women.

In fact, female masturbation is almost labelled as this strange thing that women really shouldn’t do or have no interest in. This has made it difficult for many women to talk about it, let alone explore masturbation with themselves.

So, let’s have a conversation about female masturbation now.

Female masturbation should not and is not taboo or wrong. And anyone who tells you that it is or that you should really not talk about it have probably been left behind in Victorian times.

News Flash: Women masturbate! It’s completely normal.

Self-Pleasure Is The Best Way To Understand Your Own Body

Masturbation is a safe and healthy thing to do, and a great way to discover what you enjoy. This means that if you decide to have sex you will be more confident in regards to what you want from your partner and what your own boundaries are.

Recently there was a great moment in To All The Boys: P.S I Still Love where female masturbation was not only discussed, but it placed emphasise on the importance of knowing your own body.

When Lara Jean is discussing Valentine’s Day plans with her bestie. Christine says: “I got you a little V-Day gift of my own. It’s advice. Before you go too far with Kavinsky, make sure you are 100 percent—no, 1,000 percent—sure….” Lara Jean interrupts, “That it’s something that I want? I know. Trust me,” she says, acknowledging the stereotypical thought process girls are supposed to go through before losing their virginity. “Actually, I was going to say something else. I am trying to make sure you know how to rev your own engine before you let anyone under the hood. I’m just saying, make sure you know how to look after you.”

Can we get an amen for Chris?

So, now that we’ve established that female masturbation is completely normal and a good thing, let’s talk about it in a bit more detail…

The Different Types of Female Masturbation

There are a few different types of female masturbation and they can vary pleasure wise from person to person.

Here’s some of the different types of things that can rev your engine, to borrow Chris’ euphemism…


The clitoris is the primary source of female sexual pleasure. It is part of the vula – the outer visible part of the female sexual organ – and located above the urethra. It doesn’t have a central role in reproduction like the penis or vagina — it’s pretty much just there to make you feel good!

For some people the clitoris is easily visible and accessible, and for others it’s hidden under the clitoral hood – everyone’s vulva is unique. The clitoris can vary in size (it can be about as small as a pea or as big as a thumb), but only the tip of it comes outside the body where you can see it. When you’re aroused (turned on), your clitoris becomes stiff and swollen — just like a penis.

Most people would use their fingers or toys to masturbate here.


You can use your fingers or a sex toy to penetrate your vagina during masturbation. This will feel deeper than clitoral masturbation.

It is worth noting that contrary to what most TV shows and movies will have you believe, only a small minority of people with vaginas actually climix from vaginal stimulation during sex. A lot of people with vaginas need clitoral stimulation during sex as well as vaginal penetration to have an orgasm.

Erogenous zones

You can also play with any of the female erogenous zones such as the inner thighs, ears, nipples, neck and other parts of the body during masturbation.


You can use your finger or a sex toy for anal masturbation.

Each one of these types of masturbation will bring different people different amounts of pleasure so exploring to see which one works best for you is key.

How To Masturbate

Masturbation does not always have to lead to an orgasm; there’s still enjoyment and pleasure to be had along the way even if you don’t have an orgasm. If you are in the mood and want to try out some solo play, here are a few of the ways to help get started…

1. Secure yourself

You want to be fully relaxed while masturbating and not worried about being interrupted, so lock the door and silence the phone so that you can truly relax.

2. Set a mood

Sounds cheesy, but dimming the lights and putting some music on can really help putting you in the mood.

3. Let your imagination run wild

Scenarios in your head can turn you on without you even realising, so play out a few of the sexual encounters in your mind.

4. Figure out what you like

Often sex and pleasure are presented to as penetration = the only way to go, and hey some people do really like to use their fingers to penetrate themselves during masturbation, but don’t feel like you have to jump in with that straight away.

See Also

As we said above, the cliterious is the main place for pleasure. To start try touching there and figure out what you like. Try different fingers, different pressures and speed to figure out what gets you going. We’re not machines, so we can’t turn ourselves on straight away. It might feel good to start with, or maybe it all feels a bit strange at first and you mightn’t know if your body is responding; give it time.

5. Explore your erogenous zones

Do you remember we talked about the erogenous zones above? Don’t be afraid to explore your whole body while masturbating, see what you like.

6. Try adding lube

Your body self-lubricates when sexually stimulated, however sometimes it might not be enough or might not happen at all. Lube can really help with the enjoyment of masturbation.

7. Try erotica or porn

There are many female based websites for erotic novels or videos that might help with the stimulation during masturbation.

8. Sex toys are ok too

Sex toys are a great way to spice up masturbation and come in many different forms and are available in a range of shops such as Ann Summers. Nasty Gal also has a section for female sex toys.

Again, it’s not all about penetration when it comes to using sex toys to masturbate. Something like The Firefighter (what a name!) is made just for clitoral stimulation.

And yes, Beauty Bay, as well as Boots and more online stores are all selling vibrators now. So, if you were in any doubt about just how normal masturbation is, there you go. Also, your order will come very discreetly, if that’s something that you’re worried about.

If you do invest in a sex toy, just make sure that you look after it by washing it before and after use to avoid any nasty infections.

Take your time

Masturbation is different for everyone, which is why it’s important to take your time with it and get to know your own body and what you respond to and where.

The first few times that you try masturbating you might not be super successful if having an orgasm is your goal. Take your time and be confident in exploring your own body.

Check out our Sex Education section for more.

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