We recently did a reader survey and we got some really great feedback from our lovely readers.
One of questions we asked was “What do you find most difficult about being a teenager in 2019?” and one of the common responses was to do with friendship.
One of the concerns was dealing with your friends being in a different school.
Seen as we’re still in September and some people are still probably dealing with that transition to secondary school or a new school it seems like a good time to address that issue.
There’s No Point Getting Hung-up On It
Sorry to be so blunt, but obsessing over the fact that you and your friend/s are no longer in the same school is unlikely to change the situation. You’ve ended up in your current school for reasons and those reasons are still valid. By obsessing about it you could be holding yourself back from establishing new friendships and seeing the positives in your new school.
The first step to dealing with your friends being in a different school is to accept that this is how it is now, and that’s okay. It does not mean the end of your friendship.
The Grass Isn’t Always Greener
Often in life we want what we can’t have and we convince ourselves that if we did have it, we would be the happiest person on earth. Hanging all of your happiness on one person or the thought that if only we were in the same school things would be perfect doesn’t make for a good life.
IF you were to move schools you still mightn’t be happy. You still might not be in the same class or sat next to each other. And what if you and your friend suddenly fell out?
Absence Makes The Heart Grow Founder
Yes, it’s great to have chats with your bestie at lunch and laugh about that section in the science book, but sometimes distance is good; it means that you’ll have loads to talk about at the weekends or holidays. It will probably make you appreciate each other more and cut down on the chances of you bickering. Sometimes you really can see too much of someone, ya know?
It’s Actually A Chance To Broaden Your Friendship Circle
It’s really good to have friends in different circles. Not only will you have different friends, but there’s also a chance to become friendly with your friends group in another school.
Us girls are complex creatures at times, and sometimes a group of girls can become…difficult to say the least. It’s good to be able to step-back from a group and have some other friends in a different school at times.
Don’t Be Jealous
Understand that your friend needs to have other friendships, after-all they’re in a different school to you too and need to make new friends.
If you see them posting something on social out with new friends, be happy for them and look forward to hearing about it the next time that you see them. Being jealous or resentful can have a really negative impact on your friendship and possibly end up ruining it.
Juggling your new friends and old friends can be a balancing act, but make sure that you make time for both sets of friends yourself and even try organise one big group hang so no one is left out – you don’t want your bestie to feel forgotten about either.
Having Friends In A Different School Can Be A Good Thing
Being forced out of your friendship comfort zone is actually a really good thing and will prepare you for the rest of your life – you can’t cling to the same friends for the rest of your life! And having some time apart can actually strengthen friendships in the long-term.
Yes, it can be more work to maintain the friendship, but those are the ones that tend to last a lifetime.
And don’t worry if you’re still struggling to find besties in your new school, the year is young. All you need is a positive and friendly attitude and you’ll soon have lots of friends, both old and new.
Have you any advice for dealing with friends being in a different school?
I am the Founder and Editor of Missy.ie. I spend far too much on makeup and like to travel way more than is normal.
