What No One Tells You About Making Friends in College
When you think about starting college, one of the most exciting parts is the idea of making new friends. You’ve probably heard stories about forming lifelong bonds and meeting your “people,” but what no one tells you is that making friends in college can sometimes feel a bit overwhelming – and that’s completely normal! Whether you’re nervous about being in a new environment or worried you won’t click with anyone, you’re not alone.
Here’s the real deal on making friends in college and what you should know about finding your tribe.
1. Everyone Feels Awkward at First
It might seem like everyone around you is confidently diving into new friendships, but trust us – everyone feels a little awkward at first. The truth is, most people are nervous about making friends, especially in those first few weeks when everything is new and unfamiliar.
- It’s Okay to Feel Out of Place: It’s completely normal to feel unsure or even lonely at first. Remember, this is a huge change for everyone, and it takes time to settle into your new environment.
- Don’t Force Friendships: Sometimes you might click with people straight away, and other times, it may take a little longer to find those you truly connect with. Be patient, and don’t feel pressured to force friendships that don’t feel right.
2. Quality Over Quantity
In college, there’s often a lot of emphasis on meeting tons of new people and expanding your social circle. While it’s great to be friendly and open, what really matters is building meaningful connections, not just filling your contacts list.
- Find Your People: You don’t need a massive friend group to enjoy college life. Focus on quality friendships with people who genuinely support and understand you, even if that means just having a small circle.
- Friendships Take Time: Deep friendships don’t happen overnight. Sometimes it takes months of hanging out in class, studying together, or grabbing coffee before you really get to know someone. Be open to letting these relationships evolve naturally.
3. Your First Friends May Not Be Your Forever Friends
One of the biggest surprises for many college students is that the people you meet during Freshers’ Week might not end up being your best friends by the time you graduate – and that’s totally okay!
- Friendships Can Change: As the semester goes on, you’ll meet more people, and your interests or social circles might shift. It’s natural for some friendships to fade while new ones form.
- Let Go of the Pressure: Don’t stress if the people you initially clicked with aren’t the ones you end up spending the most time with. College is all about growing and changing, and your friendships will reflect that.
4. Join Clubs and Societies
We know it sounds a bit cliché, but joining clubs, societies, or sports teams is one of the easiest and most effective ways to meet like-minded people. Whether you’re into sports, debating, drama, or even something quirky like a Harry Potter society – there’s something for everyone.
- Follow Your Passions: Joining a club around something you genuinely love is a great way to meet people with similar interests. It instantly gives you something to bond over and makes socializing feel more natural.
- Try Something New: Don’t be afraid to step out of your comfort zone! College is the perfect time to try new things, and you might discover a new passion and a new friend group.
5. Don’t Be Afraid to Put Yourself Out There
Making friends in college often requires stepping out of your comfort zone. It might feel intimidating at first, but being open to new experiences and saying “yes” to opportunities is key to forming connections.
- Introduce Yourself: Sometimes it’s as simple as saying, “Hi, I’m [your name].” Whether you’re sitting next to someone in class or waiting in line for coffee, a quick introduction can lead to a new friend.
- Accept Invitations: Even if you’re not super into a social event, accepting invitations is a great way to meet people. You don’t have to attend every party, but joining in for a movie night or study session can help you bond with others.
6. It’s Okay to Feel Lonely Sometimes
Even with all the opportunities to meet new people, it’s perfectly normal to feel lonely at times – especially in the early days of college. What no one tells you is that many students experience moments of homesickness or isolation.
- Loneliness is Common: Just because you feel lonely doesn’t mean you’re doing anything wrong. It’s a common part of the transition to college life, and most people go through it at some point.
- Focus on Self-Care: When you’re feeling lonely, it’s important to take care of yourself. Spend time doing things you enjoy, whether that’s binge-watching your favorite show, reading, or going for a walk. You’ll be surprised how much better you feel when you make time for yourself.
7. Friendships Can Come from Unexpected Places
You might think you’ll only meet friends in class or during Freshers’ Week, but college friendships can bloom in the most unexpected ways. You might bond with someone in a late-night study session, in the library, or even while waiting for the bus.
- Stay Open to New Connections: Be open to meeting people everywhere – not just in your immediate social circle. Some of the best friendships come from random encounters and shared experiences.
- Talk to People Outside Your Course: Don’t limit yourself to just making friends in your major. By branching out and talking to people in other courses or year groups, you’ll meet a more diverse range of people with different perspectives.
8. Social Media Can Help, But It’s Not Everything
While social media can be a great tool for keeping in touch with people and finding out about college events, it’s important not to rely on it too much when building friendships.
- Meet People IRL: It’s easy to feel like you’re staying connected through Instagram or TikTok, but real friendships are built through face-to-face interaction. Use social media to stay in the loop, but make sure you’re also meeting people in real life.
- Don’t Compare: It’s easy to scroll through social media and feel like everyone else is having an amazing time while you’re struggling to make friends. Remember, people usually only post their highlights, so don’t compare your experience to what you see online.
Making friends in college is a journey, and like any new experience, it comes with its ups and downs. But with a bit of patience, openness, and a willingness to put yourself out there, you’ll find your people – and the friendships you build will make your college experience even more amazing.
Get more advice from our dedicated college section on Missy.ie!