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0 In Friendship

Signs That Your Best Friend Is Your Soul Mate

It can be a task and a half trying to find a soul mate within your lifetime, but what you may not know is that you have already found them and they could be right under your nose. Marriage is technically like a life-long friendship contract. So, your best friend may just be the soul mate you have been looking for without the romantic complications.

Here are some signs that your best friend is your soul mate…

 

1. Secrets don’t exist with you two. 

“But you can’t tell anyone” Of course that person doesn’t know that your best friend does not fit into that list of ‘anyone’. If you have a secret, whether it is yours or not, however big or small, your best friend will definitely know ASAP. 

2. Inside jokes, basically your own language at this point. 

Ever get stuck in that fit of giggles with your best friend and no one around you understands why the hell you’re laughing? That’s because no one else can possibly attempt to comprehend the very long list of inside jokes that you two have built up over the years. It’s close to being another language. 

3. You don’t judge each other on past mishaps. 

Sure, you can take the mickey out of them from time to time, but when it comes to the more serious mistakes there will be no judging from either one of you. Basically you both know where the line is. 

4. Boundaries, be gone

You are completely comfortable with one and other, boundaries just aren’t a thing at all. You don’t mind getting changed in front of them, no more running to the bathroom to get into pj’s. There’s just zero awkwardness.

5. You don’t compete. 

They say the secret to a good friendship is the same taste in drink and different taste in men. So you two have it sorted, you don’t fight each other over boys, it’s just an absolute no-no. The friendship is more important. 

6. You can hang out and do practically nothing. 

There is no such thing as wasted time with your best friend, even if you spent the whole time on your phones doing nothing. It will still count as hanging out.

7. You can be completely honest. 

A best friend wouldn’t let the other go out in a dress that fits her in all the wrong ways. Even at the expense of some feelings. You can be honest with each about what you really think, without anyone getting actually hurt. 

8. You can spend time apart and nothing will change. 

In fact you and your best friend need time apart sometimes, just like everyone else does, but when you come back together nothing has changed. 

9. You know how to cheer them up, in any situation. 

You will know whether it is a tea and a chat type thing and tell me everything, or a let’s eat all the chocolate EVER type scenario and pretend like it didn’t happen. Either way, you will always know what’s best for your bestie.

10. You’re each other’s wing women. 

The guy in the corner is staring at you? Not a problem, your bestie has you sorted. She’ll leave if needs be, or come back to save you if he turns out to be creepy. 

Having a bestie who gets you on every level and who truly has your back is a very special thing. Make sure that you nurture it and never take it for granted.

Did any of these signs make you think of your bestie? Let us know in the comments below or Tweet us!

0 In Friendship

Signs That You’re In A Toxic Friendship

Friendships can be even more complicated than relationships, especially when your friend is secretly putting you down. The red flags are there, just a lot harder to spot. You might even convince yourself that this friendship is working, but let me tell you a secret; friendship is a two-way street, there needs to be some equalities in there. 

Here are some signs that you may be caught in a toxic friendship…

You can never ever, ever get a word in. 

This one is sneaky, as it can be hidden under the famous ‘gift of the gab’. “Oh yeah my friend could talk the hind legs off a donkey”, but not being able to speak during a conversation is different from having a chatty friend. You need to be heard too. Usually you only notice it when you get back from seeing them and you realise you didn’t say two words the whole time you were together

And, when you do get a word in, they’re not listening.

Blame it on phones and social media all you want, but the hard truth is that if your friend can’t pay attention when you are speaking it’s because they just don’t care enough. And they don’t care enough because they’re not the focus of the conversation. 

Your problems aren’t problems.

Their lives are always full of drama. Always. They will make your problems out to be minuscule; less important or not important at all. They’ll toss them aside a lot. Sometimes they’ll even weigh up the issues against each other, theirs ultimately always winning. 

Their opinion is always right. 

On the off-chance they do listen to you, their opinion is always the best way to go, according to them. It doesn’t matter about context, people, feelings or the part of the conversation they missed out on because they were too busy with something else, the opinion they give might as well be a God send. 

The green-eyed monster is real. 

When you have something they don’t, when you achieve something they don’t, when you accomplish anything they don’t – they turn sour. It can be as small as not smiling at you, but because it’s not them, they’re not happy. They can’t ever just be happy for you. There is always some other reason you got what you did. You were lucky, you just knew the right people. These things could be true, yet they will only say them to make themselves feel better. 

You do the reaching, unless of course they need something. 

You don’t know how but you always find yourself texting first, planning things, asking to meet up. Until they need to vent or borrow a jacket you own. 

Their “jokes” aren’t funny. 

Again this can be a serious trait being hidden in plain sight. Having playful banter between friends is always good, but there is actually a fine line between banter and just plain mean. And if you listen closely their comments are over that line. They can be these small snide comments, but they chip away at your confidence. 

They aren’t there for you. 

They say you find out who your true friends are when you are going through a tough time. It’s true. You will notice a sudden lack of them as soon as you need them.

These mini red pins can be tricky to see, but when you spot them you know it is time to get out of the bad friendship, for your sake. 

Read More: The Meaning of True Friendship 

0 In Friendship/ Girl Talk/ Lifestyle/ Relationships/ Wellness

5 Questions That Will Change Your Life

5 Questions That Will Change Your Life

If you think a Insta Model body or a BF is your one-way ticket to internal happiness, it’s time to get some serious perspective. Answer these questions honestly and they might just change your life!

 

1. Will Being Thin Really Make Me Happy?

If you’re frantically nodding your head right now, you could be in trouble. It’s easy to think your life would be perfect if only you were taller/shorter, blonder, more tan…but the reality is that looking “good” is no guarantee that you’ll feel confident. Spoiler: “beautiful” people have problems too.

Happiness comes from within and beauty really is only skin deep. Think about it. Do you seriously think that celebrities and Insta Models don’t have problems? Just one look at their Twitter mentions will prove that it’s not all plain sailing for them either. You wouldn’t think it to look at her, but Lily Reinhart has admitted that she suffers a lot from anxiety, depression and is very insecure about her skin. You never know what is going on inside someone else’s head, no matter what they may look like on the outside.

Is theres’ something about your body that you’d like to change, ask yourself “why“? Everyone has bits that they don’t like, but instead of stressing about them why not draw up a list of things that you do like about yourself and probably take for granted? Read over it whenever you feel down. And don’t forget that real girls aren’t perfect and perfect girls aren’t real. You’re unique and that’s what makes you pretty damn special.

 

2. Is Having A Boyfriend Really Important?

When you’re single, it can feel like everyone in the world is coupled-up (seriously, what is it with all these super quick celeb engagements?) while you’re left as the Bridget Jones of your gang. But if you think that you need to be in a relationship to be truly happy, you could be suffering from low self-esteem, especially if you’re willing to date some randomer who you’re not that into.

When you’re single you can spend as much time with your friends as you like, get to keep every weekend open for spontaneous adventures and you can say you’re an Independent Woman. When you really think about it, are you really desperate to lose all of those things? It’s normal to want to be in a secure and loving relationship, but being one of those girls who simply can’t fly solo means you’ll never feel whole unless you’re someone else’s other half. And that’s just not healthy, or much fun. When you find someone who you are truly meant to be with, you’ll know. But there’s no point in forcing a relationship just for the sake of it. And it’s an even worse idea to think that having a boyfriend will solve all of your problems, it might just create them.

Now, all the single ladies, put your hands up!

 

3. Am I A Good Friend?

Who do you rely on? Think about them right now and ask yourself can they say the same about you? Are you guilty of not being there for your friends when they need you, even-though they provide a first-rate counselling service to you? If you’re the type of person who drops friends like hot potatoes once someone else comes along, you really need to start evaluating how you treat people. Everyone needs friends and as you go through life you’ll find that you rely more and more on a core group of friends. But friendship is a two-way street and they need the effort. And in order to be deserving of good friends, you need to be a great friend in return.

If you’ve just realised that you haven’t been the best friends lately there’s no need to get down about it. Instead, get everyone around foe Netflix and chill night and make sure that they know how much they all mean to you.

 

4. Am I A Nightmare To Live With?

You probably don’t give your home life a second thought, but maybe it’s time that you do. When you’re a child, your parents are obliged to care for you and they don’t really expect any thanks for it, but now that you’re well on your way to adulthood it’s time to re-evaluate your living situation. Does your mum still make all your meals? Does she still wash your clothes and change your sheets too? Instead of talking all that hotel-style help for granted, why not give back every once in a while?

It could be something as simple as offering to vacuum the living room or washing up after the Sunday lunch, neither of which will take yo too much time or effort.

Think about how your parents and siblings view you. We all get a bit short-tempered at time, but if you’re constantly starting arguments and throwing diva fits over the slightest thing, it might be time to re-evaluate your attitude. Make an effort to be kinder and more patient with your ‘rents. Ever get scolded for having “a tone“? Maybe try improve on that. Because even if your family drives you spare at times, they still love you endlessly and are only trying to do their best. So, check the attitude at the front door and help out a bit more. Say thank you to your parents and appreciate them a bit more.

 

5. Am I Reaching My Full Potential?

Think of how frustrating it must be for your teachers and parents if they see you coast along without really, whole-heartedly trying. It’s not that they’re “always on your case”. They care about you and want to see you do well and reach your full-potential.

If you ever scraped a C after not studying for a test, imagine what you cod achieve with a bit more effort?

Instead of shrugging it off, the next time someone tells you to believe you can do something, LISTEN UP for a change. Whether it’s in school, sport or with your family and friends – you have the potential to be the best, if only you’d trust yourself. Don’t let that voice inside you that tells you that you can’t do something. Or that you’re too tired. Or you’ve done the bare minimum – it’s grand, take over. Aim for the stars – and the sky’s the limit.

0 In Friendship

What Is The True Meaning Of Friendship?

I’m going to talk about friendship. Real, true, friendship. You might think the people you see everyday in class, go to lunch with, or text constantly are your best friends. That might very well be true, but who are they? What do they know about you? How do they make you feel? Do you tell them your deepest, darkest secrets? Or are you afraid of how they might react?

That Don’t Impress Me Much

If you are trying to impress your friends, then they are not friends. If you are trying to monitor your behaviour or change who you are because you don’t know how your friends will react, they’re not your real friends.

Friendship is something that’s based on respect and support. If you don’t respect someone, you can’t trust them or befriend them. Of course, there are things that you will not want to associate with your friends, like if they are doing something illegal or morally wrong. That’s okay, but the important thing is that you feel comfortable voicing your concerns.

As we grow up, our friendship dynamics change. Chances are, you don’t see your friend everyday in class, or you don’t live around the corner from each other anymore. Maybe they’ve emigrated. Maybe they live on the opposite side of the world in a timezone that makes it nighttime when you’re waking up. Maybe you don’t talk all day, every day.

Think about how it feels when you see your friend after a long time. Is it awkward? Do you feel like you need to make small talk because you don’t know what to say any more?

Does your friend only talk about themselves? Do you struggle to tell them how you feel? Do they care how you feel? These are hugely important things, and they are the things that will make or break your friendship. Friendship is a two-way street, it involves give and take – be supported and supporting someone.

I’ll Be There For You

Friends come and go, but the friends that you keep are those who support you, whom you feel comfortable around and who you can rely on when times are tough. If you’re feeling down and depressed, or have been through a breakup, who do you turn to? Those who you know you can turn to are those who are your closest friends. They do not judge, they support you and they are there for you no matter what.

This is what true friendship is. It’s not how many photos you’re tagged in together on social media. It’s not how many texts are in your WhatsApp chat. It’s not how many hours you spend chatting over tea and lunch. It’s how you feel when you’re in a crisis and just need a shoulder to cry on. That’s how you know.

To read more by Michelle check out her blog speckyscribbler.com or her past articles on Missy.