Dear Missy: My friend has started leaving me out
Dear Missy,
I’ve noticed that my friend has been leaving me out lately, and it’s really starting to hurt. She used to invite me to everything, but now I see her hanging out with other people on social media without me. I don’t know what I did wrong, and I’m scared if I say something, it’ll make things worse. I miss the way things used to be. What should I do?
– Feeling Left Out
Dear Feeling Left Out,
Ugh, I’m so sorry you’re going through this—it really hurts when someone you care about suddenly seems distant. Friendships can be tricky, especially when it feels like you’re being pushed aside. But before you jump to conclusions, try to remember that friendships can go through natural phases where people spend time with others. It might not mean that your friend doesn’t care about you anymore.
People can sometimes be really oblivious to what they’re doing. They might not think about how their actions affect other people. That’s why I think it’s important to have a chat with your friend and let her know how you’re feeling. I know some people would rather the earth swallow them up than have a direct conversation, but talking about the issue gets to the root of it quickly and solves the problem instead of letting it drag on. Poor communication does more damage in the long term.
You could say something like, “Hey, I’ve noticed we haven’t been hanging out as much lately, and I miss spending time together. Is everything okay?” This opens up space for a conversation without making her feel defensive. If she’s a real friend, she’ll appreciate your honesty and make the effort to include you again.
However, if she continues to leave you out on purpose, she’s no friend. I’m a big believer in treating people how you want to be treated, and if she’s not showing you the respect and care you deserve, it’s time to reconsider the friendship.
Either way, don’t take this as a reflection of your worth. You’re awesome, and anyone would be lucky to have you in their life!
– Missy