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How To Stop Seeking Validation From Others

How To Stop Seeking Validation From Others

Ella Morley

Pleasing people can be rewarding. That warm glow of approval you get when you make someone else happy is hard to beat.

However, when it becomes a constant and automatic reaction, it can leave you out of control of a situation and exhausted from potentially going against your own wishes.

Compromising our integrity and beliefs in the hope of seeking validation is rarely a good thing. Caring about what others think of you, can stop you from doing what is important to you and truly expressing yourself.

Awareness of this trait is vital so that the next time you catch yourself in the approval zone you will be able to stop yourself or at least pause and consider before falling into a default people pleasing action.

Become aware

Seeking validation from those around you can be exhausting. Pretending to agree with someone when you think the opposite or going along with something you know is not right will only impact you negatively. The first step to stop any bad habit is to become aware that you do it.

Realising that you seek constant approval from others can be very difficult to admit to. However, only then can you begin to stop yourself from looking for it.

Start to focus on what makes you happy instead of those around you. Ideally with an exchange of views, this will turn out to be the same thing.  Be kind to yourself. Your opinion matters.

Stop comparing yourself to others

You can also exhaust yourself by comparing yourself to others. For starters anyone can make it look like they have a fantastic life when in reality this may be far from the truth. Until you know what is happening behind the scenes, how can you compare your life to theirs?

Second of all, a lot of the online images you see have been photoshopped to look better. Often the people running accounts like these are paid to make everything seem exceptional. Ask yourself this question. Are you comparing yourself to something real or is it mediated or fabricated?

Take a break from social media

Social media is often the place where people begin to compare themselves to others. Taking a break from it every now and then can be a very positive thing. It can help remind you of how little you really need it in your life. You will find that after this scrolling through social media will not be as big of a part of your daily routine leaving you plenty of time to focus on yourself.

Read MoreHow To Do A Social Media Detox

Trust yourself

Ask yourself the question, do you trust yourself? Your thoughts, feelings, choices and dreams are valid. Just like everyone else. Do not let anyone tell you otherwise.

At times people will not share your opinion and that is okay. Just because they are different does not mean they are valid. In such a situation there may be no right or wrong and you can agree to disagree.

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They must respect you and your right to your opinion just as you respect theirs. If they do not, they are not your friend. Stand up for yourself when you need to and do not change to fit another mould.

Accept yourself

Look how far you have come. Look at all you have achieved and overcome. Stand tall and be proud. There is no one just like you. Embrace it. Embrace all your flaws and quirks. Once you do you will stop seeking any form of validation from anyone. Let your voice be heard.

Practice self-care frequently and learn to love yourself. It is your life so do not live it for anyone else and do what makes you happy. Follow your own path and see where it will take you.

Enjoy life. You deserve it.

Do you feel that you need to stop seeking validation from others?

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