If you think about it any relationship you form with another person in this world is like two trees, with branches growing into one another, getting tangled, and wrapping around each other for support. The more the relationship develops, the more the branches entangle. A friendship can be illustrated by the branches of a tree beginning to lean on each other, almost growing into each other over the years. This closeness and reliability can cause friendship breakups to be worse than any romantic relationship breakup; there are far more branches to be broken.
Friendships are more secure.
Romantic relationships can be rocky, a lot of time being spent wondering. Wondering whether they like you, wondering whether they are going to leave, wondering when to say I love you, and all of the other steppingstones involved seem to need a lot of thought.
With friendships, things tend to come more naturally an almost effortless relationship that doesn’t require a lot of thought. You’re never wondering as much with friends. They are just there.
Chances are friendships have been around longer.
In your teens, friendships tend to last longer than relationships. You’ve more than likely grown up with your besties. You’ve probably seen each other through a few tough times. Yes, relationships can be intense and feel more important when you’re in them. But friends are still always there, in the background ebbing and flowing. So, when your friendship comes to an end it really can feel like you’re missing part of yourself.
No one knows you as well as them.
You may think partners know you well, but when you first meet them, you hold back on things; opting to present your ‘perfect’ self. In holding yourself back, you often don’t often show the real you for a while. With pals you are more likely to be you from the outset. Your friends know all the small things about you. They know the whacky, wonderful you and they don’t mind one bit! Losing them can feel as though you’ve lost your comfort zone, the person who you could always be yourself in front of.
Friendship has more branches.
Within a friendship there is an array of emotions, feelings and shared experiences. All of these branches of friendship have significance in our lives. If the friendship ends these branches also break.
When a friendship breaks down, you not only lose your friend but a part of yourself. As you untangle yourself from them, the pieces of your life that were once entwined can become difficult to remember, depending on the circumstances. This is often the reasoning behind shutting out a part of your life. The part that involved them.
How To Move On From Friendship Breakups
The high-road is always the best road. It can be tempting to lash out at your former bestie, or worse – try to make others pick sides. Don’t do this. Not only will it just end up hurting you more, you could end up losing more friends in the process.
A bit like a relationship breakup, you just need to take some time to adjust to your new set of circumstances. Absence makes the heart grow fonder, so you never know; you might just be able to reestablish your friendship down the road.
Should you find yourself struggling after any friendship breakups, it’s always good to talk see here for a list of Teen Helplines in Ireland.