How To Cope With A Situationship Breakup
How do you mourn what never was?
It’s not a breakup; not really and sometimes not even close. But it can hurt like one. Actually, it can even hurt worse. Someone who meant so much to you only days before is not part of your life anymore and you’re just meant to be fine?
It’s difficult to understand how someone who could potentially make their mark on our lives is gone the next day as if they’d never been there in the first place. What then are we to do with the memories, the private jokes and the secret looks? Is there room in the universe for the secrets you shared and the time you made for one another? But more importantly, what now?
What Is A Situationship?
The term “situationship” has entered the dating lexicon in recent years. A situationship is defined as “a relationship that has no label on it.. like a friendship but more than a friendship but not quite a relationship”. Confused? You’re not alone.
That’s why a situationship breakup can be a minefield. How do you get over what never was, but kinda was and sorta wasn’t all at the same damn time?
Here’s how to cope with a situationship breakup…
Take it personally, but not too personally
You will not be right for everyone and everyone will not be right for you. That’s just life. The beauty of it is that we get to surround ourselves with people we have chosen and who have in turn chosen us. Keep your head up and stay confident. As the saying goes, there’s plenty more fish in the sea.
Celebrate what once was
Remember that it was good while it lasted and that’s all it will be. Make your peace with this and look back fondly. Celebrating the moment for what it was and how it made you feel is perfectly healthy, but reminiscing in the past to avoid moving forward isn’t. Remember not to numb yourself and to process what really happened. Take the time to really feel your feelings without intellectualizing them.
Try not to hold a grudge (or do)
Depending on the situationship breakup , your reaction calls for the setting of different boundaries.
You can opt for a clean break and forgo contact all together if the situationship or talking stage was harming your mental well-being or self esteem. You could try and pick up as friends because the fact is engaging with someone with the end-goal of dating can create so much pressure for the both of you. It’s perfectly fine to take a beat and just enjoy each other’s company platonically.
If you can’t find it in yourself to do so, that’s fine. Make a playlist, go on a walk, say you won’t talk about it with your friends anymore and do hold a grudge. Your experience is yours, so you get to define it.
Don’t give up altogether
Whether you were approached or made the first move, this isn’t a rebuttal or a sign that you need to dim yourself. Keep making those connections.
Take it as a learning and growing opportunity
You’ll only learn more about yourself and about relationships if you allow yourself to be vulnerable and actually put yourself out there. The dating scene spares no one, it can be scary and it can be chaotic.
But remember that others are living the same thing you are at the same time. You’re not alone in what you’re going through. Chances are you’ll meet someone who’s been through it before and can help you make sense of it all. That’s what you’ve got your friends for and that’s also what Missy.ie is here for!
So, keep your head up, Missy!
Have you any advise for dealing with a situationship breakup?