The way we talk to ourselves is just as important as the way we talk to others
I always loved the idea that I had an angel and devil sitting on my shoulders watching over me and making my decisions.
The devil, of course, always would drive you in the wrong direction. The angel, sending you in the direction of good things.
At the age of ten, I realised that it’s not actually an imaginary angel and devil it’s actually your conscience (which is nowhere near as exciting as mini people sitting on your shoulders). Something that I have learned over the last couple of years is that your conscience can be your worst enemy.
We Are So Hard On Ourselves
We live in a country where we cannot accept anything. We are the most humble people on the planet. When somebody congratulates us, we brush them off. We barely ever boast about our achievements and if somebody compliments our clothes, it basically religion at this stage to say “Pennys” in response.
We are also notorious for being hard on ourselves. Nothing we do is good enough. We don’t work hard enough, we don’t study hard enough, we aren’t as pretty or as funny as the person beside us, and nine times out of ten, our worst critics are ourselves.
Now, you could say, how on earth is that possible but most of the time we don’t even realise that we’re doing it. We put ourselves down when we do badly in one test or we punish ourselves because we are weaker at things our friends are stronger at. We put ourselves down again and again and slowly but surely the most toxic relationship we have in our lives, is the one with the person who is staring back at us in the mirror. We convince ourselves that we are not good enough and it can get so bad sometimes that we begin to believe it.
Be Your Own Hype Squad
Some very smart person once said that if you tell yourself something enough times, you’ll start to believe it. The funny thing about that statement is it works both ways. If I tell myself enough times that I, for example, am bad at Maths or Science, I will be, because I will have convinced myself that I am. My mindset about it will be so low that I will never improve. But mindsets can be changed and it’s all about how you talk to yourself.
Okay, maybe I’m not the best at Maths, but maybe if I changed the way I look it, I might improve. There’s no point in looking at the girl in my class who is getting A’s and thinking I’ll never be as good as her, I’ll never be as smart as her, I’ll never grades like her. But maybe if I asked her to help me, I might get a bit better. Maybe if I changed the way I study it might help me. Stop comparing your achievements to other peoples. Nobody is equal and everybody’s brain works differently.
Focus On The Good
Focus on the things that you are good at and when it comes to things that you aren’t good at changed your viewpoint. Instead of; I’ll never be good at this. Why not try; what can I do to get better? Do you see? If you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change.
There is not one person on this earth who is good at absolutely everything and there is no point in destroying yourself to achieve that goal because it is impossible. Focus on you and your strengths. Look in the mirror and focus on the things you like and if there’s something you don’t like, change it in a positive way, not a negative one.
We Are All Our Own Worst Enemies
You and the most important person and your brain is what powers the machine that is you. We are all our own worst enemies. But we can defeat the nagging voice and that devil on your shoulder in a few steps. No one said it was going to be easy.
Treat people the way you would like to be treated, but more importantly, treat yourself the way you would want others to treat you.
Do you feel like you’re very hard on yourself?
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Read More: “Giving Up” Is Not Synonymous With Failing