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Confidence, Where’s Yours?

Confidence, Where’s Yours?

Caoimhe Mahon

Confidence, something we all strive to have but struggle to actually grasp. Well, in my case anyway. 

We hear it everywhere we go before important meetings or exams, before we meet new people or start a new job, before a first date or big night out, “remember, just be confident.” The words linger in our heads but it’s easier said than done right. 

You can psych yourself up all your like but the nerves will always creep up in the middle of that presentation; there will always be that one person more popular and outgoing than you, even a girl who seemingly pulls off an outfit better than you despite not having the right accessories or underwear simply because she wears it with confidence. 

It’s a dilemma alright. 

I’ve never quite understood how to master it, which I’m sure you are picking up as you read this article. 

Why is she so confident?

This is a question I ask myself a lot and my friends will tell you I ask them a lot too.

I was always puzzled by the people before an exam who would look as if they had time to do their hair and makeup after a great night’s sleep. They would have their coffee in hand and confidence in the other. I would stand in shock with my hair awkwardly wrapped out of my face, enough pens in my hand to accommodate the entire exam hall and my confidence, it was hidden under heaps of nerves. 

When I would be at the beach on holidays I would cringe at my paleness, I would cover my tummy and make a dart from the safety of my towel to the ocean before people could give me any notice. Now, I never questioned anyone else’s appearance, their weight or lack of tan. No, that judgement was reserved strictly for myself. I would look around the beach at an array of people of all shapes and sizes and envy their ability to relax and soak up the sun without being hung up on reservations. 

Of course, I am someone who is greatly appreciative of my abilities and health but still there are aspects to me I’m insecure about and I think that’s okay.

We All Have Something Going For Us

Don’t get me wrong we all have those parts of ourselves either inside or out, which we are proud of and yes, confident with. 

We all have those outfits we feel we could take on the world with. 

We all have those days of feeling great in our body. 

So why compare ?

So why when we are on a roll do we stop to compare ourselves with other people?

I will be out with friends and feel great in myself, but I can’t help but notice the attention they draw up, the compliments they receive. And whilst getting these compliments from these people are not my goal you still can’t help but wonder, what’s wrong with me? 

Nothing, absolutely nothing. 

I’m not going to pretend I know the answer to this, this why, that lingers in our mind but I have been told by my friends that the one thing they are wearing that I am not is, yes you’ve guessed it, confidence, heaps and heaps of confidence. 

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What Now?

Whilst you might be standing waiting to go into that exam, or lying on that beach or standing in that bar wondering what do they have that I don’t? What do they know that I don’t? Why are they so confident? 

Remember :

They are not you. They don’t have the same heart as you, the same soul, they don’t have your laugh or your fire, they don’t have those little quirks that you do. All these things are yours wrapped in your own beautiful bow and that is something to be confident about. 

So, rather than think of it as simply saying, just be confident, think of it as more of a way of saying just love yourself.

And also remember that you never know what is going on in someone else’s head or life. Everyone has insecurities, everyone. It’s what makes us human.

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