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How To Talk About Sex With Your Partner

How To Talk About Sex With Your Partner

Caoimhe Mahon

So many of us shy away from conversations about sex and we make it into this taboo topic that should not be discussed. However, this is not healthy, especially if we are avoiding these conversations with our sexual partners. 

Talking about sex is so important for a number of reasons including health, safety, comfort and pleasure.

So, how do we start the conversation and why should we bother? Here’s how to talk about sex with your partner…


If we cannot talk about sex then how are we ever supposed to engage in a healthy sex life?

Being able to discuss sex with your sexual partner shows maturity as it opens up topics including previous sexual partners or lack of, contraceptive choices and specific sexual acts. 

If you do not properly discuss contraceptive measures or sexual health testing you may be leaving the door open to potential health issues or an unwanted pregnancy.

We instantly create an uncomfortable atmosphere because those involved are unsure how to navigate the act at the ease and pleasure of the other person.

What you like and dislike

Sex is natural and it is supposed to be enjoyed, so discussing what you and your partner like and dislike is really important. Being confident enough to speak up shows an honesty and understanding between you and your partner as you foster an intimate relationship.

Respect and Trust

You should never rush into sex or have sex to please someone else. If and when you feel ready you should discuss this with your partner, especially if it is your first time or your first time with a new partner. 

Talk about it openly, how it makes you feel, if you have any questions or reservations. This removes any discomfort or uncertainty before you have sex with your partner. 

Sex should be about the pair of you and what you both want from it, so discussing your wants, needs and expectations is important especially regarding what you want to happen after sex. This is important to make sure you are both on the same page to avoid heart ache later on. 

Safe Sex

It’s incredibly important to discuss appropriate contraception and safe sex with your partner before you start engaging in sexual activity.

Remember: you can still contract an STI from oral sex and other sexual activity. Condoms and barrier methods are the only contraceptives that protect you and your partner from STI’s and prevent unwanted pregnancy, if that’s also a concern.

Having a conversation about your contraceptive choices is a good way to get a conversation about sex started.


Sex is an intimate and personal act and so it should be granted the time to discuss it. Sometimes people shy away from this discussion out of fear of embarrassment or in case they ‘scare’ away the other person. If this is the case then they are not worth it. 

See Also

The act of talking about your sex life with your partner is just an important and just as intimate as the act of sex itself. Open and honest communication creates a better relationship between you and your partner.

If you don’t feel confident broaching any of these topics with your partner you should take some time to consider why you feel that way and if it’s best to be engaging in sexuality activity at this time.

Do you feel confident enough to talk about sex with your partner?

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