Things We Wish We Were Taught About Sex (But Weren’t)

Sex education in school? Yeah, it’s usually awkward, basic, and very much lacking in the real stuff you actually need to know. If your school covered anything beyond the biology of making babies and a very dramatic slideshow of STIs, consider yourself lucky.

So, let’s talk about the things we should have been taught—because sex is about so much more than just the mechanics. Here’s what we wish we had learned in school:

1. Sex Should Be Pleasurable and Enjoyable for Both People

A lot of sex ed focuses on the risks—pregnancy, STIs, etc.—but very little actually talks about the fact that sex should be a positive experience for both people. It’s not something you have to do or something you just go along with to make someone else happy. It’s supposed to feel good, and if it doesn’t, that’s a sign to check in with yourself (or your partner) about why.

2. Awkwardness Is Totally Normal

Movies and TV make sex look so smooth and effortless. In reality? Sometimes it’s awkward. There can be weird noises, moments where you have no idea what to do, or times when things just don’t go as planned. That’s okay. Laughing about it together and being comfortable with your partner makes all the difference.

3. LGBTQ+ Sex Ed Matters

For a lot of LGBTQ+ people, sex ed in school is basically useless. It’s often centered around straight, cisgender relationships, completely ignoring that there are so many different ways people experience intimacy. Safe sex and healthy relationships aren’t just for straight people—everyone deserves information that’s relevant to them.

4. Good Communication = Better Sex

This one is a game changer. Being able to talk openly about what you like, what you’re comfortable with, and what you don’t want is so important. Consent isn’t just a one-time “yes” or “no”—it’s an ongoing conversation. The more comfortable you are talking about sex, the better it will be for both of you.

5. You Can Say No (Even If You’ve Said Yes Before)

Just because you’ve done something before doesn’t mean you always have to. You don’t owe anyone sex, no matter what. If you’re not feeling it, that’s a valid reason to stop or say no. A good partner will always respect your boundaries.

6. Prioritising Your Sexual Health Is Essential

Looking after your sexual health is just as important as taking care of the rest of your body. Regular check-ups, getting tested for STIs, using protection—all of these things are a normal part of being responsible for your body. And no, getting an STI test doesn’t mean you’re “dirty” or anything like that. It just means you’re taking care of yourself.

7. Losing Your Virginity Is Not a Big Deal

There’s so much pressure around “losing your virginity” as if it’s some huge milestone that defines you. Spoiler: it doesn’t. Virginity is a social construct, and there’s no right or wrong time to start having sex. Whether you wait, dive in, or decide it’s not for you at all—your worth has nothing to do with it.

8. You Don’t Have to Do Anything You’re Not Comfortable With

Peer pressure, relationships, or even just feeling like you “should” be at a certain stage—none of these are reasons to do something you don’t want to. You get to decide what’s right for you. No one else.

Basically, sex ed should be about more than just biology and worst-case scenarios. It should cover real things—like pleasure, communication, LGBTQ+ relationships, and the importance of boundaries.

So if school didn’t teach you this stuff, don’t stress—we’ve got you.

Check out our sex ed section for more!